Sunderland A.F.C: Dark Comedy Incarnate

Thomas MM Hemy’s “Sunderland v. Aston Villa 1895”, one of the first football paintings.
Notice how most of the home seats were full and the away ones were empty. Sunderland found ways to put asses in seats in all the wrong ways.
And of course, Kevin Phillips had to do it to his old club. You hate to see it.
I just wanted to post this for Martin Tyler’s electric commentary.
And while Man City celebrated, this was going on…
Major fun fact related to those transfers: I called the Jozy Altidore transfer. I was getting more into FIFA and soccer/football in general when FIFA 13 came out and I wanted to do a Manager career mode for the first time. I didn’t want to pick a top team so I picked Sunderland. I really didn’t like the strikers available so I dug deep into the transfer market. My marquee signings were winger Jesé Rodriguez from Real Madrid, winger Gerard Deulofeu from Barcelona, pacy center back Hong Jeong-Ho from Jeju United, and of course, American striker Jozy Altidore from AZ Alkmaar. I even bought an aging Gennaro Gattuso from FC Sion as a backup CDM for Lee Cattermole. I just wanted an American and a younger striker so Jozy fit. He would score 17 times and finish 2nd in the golden boot race. Ended up selling him to Lazio the next year to fund a move for Alexander Pato. Soon enough, that summer of 2013, Sunderland would purchase Jozy for $13m. Was he good? Hell no, he only scored once in 42 appearances. Did I still love him? Yes. And he would do Sunderland a favor in 2015 to make up for his lack of scoring. I’ll get back to it.
He would end up getting removed from FIFA 16 and boy did everyone shit on him. Look at the dislikes.
For those that don’t know, Colback was a youth academy product for Sunderland, played for them for seven years, then moved to arch-rivals Newcastle in a rather bitter way on a free transfer. Pretty much the same as a Yankees player going to the Boston Red Sox. Then Colback said the above statement. Very bad look to be fair.
Pain.
Ankles, dead.
Welp.
They got relegated by a man wearing a sports bra. Embarrasing.
You talk about a finesse God. My word. “No chance mate.”
Legend.

Southwestern Alumni ‘19 | Former Collegiate Football Player | ΠΚΑ | Sports Writer | Almost Beat Hungrybox In Smash Bros

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