So, the big Nintendo Direct was last week. 531 days since the last one. Everyone was hyped up to no end. Would we get some critical updates to Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4, or Zelda Breath Of The Wild 2? Would we hear anything from recently dormant franchises such as Star Fox or Mario Kart? (Before you say anything, the last full-fledged non-port Mario Kart game was 8 in 2014. I rest my case.) The Direct ends. The people all yell in unison:
Now, I won’t be the first nor the last person to tell you that the Direct was very disappointing. No news from any of the aforementioned games. An overabundance of RPGs. The Triangle Strategy game “trailer” went on for comically too long. Zelda fans getting a rerelease of the most widely panned Zelda game for $60 after hearing BOTW 2 is possibly getting delayed.
Another Splatoon game despite the fact the last one was released in 2017 and is still doing numbers player count-wise. At least we got the first Mario Golf game since 2003 (Mario Golf Toadstool Tour still hits to this day). And I feel one certain lady/ladies is getting a lot of out-of-pocket strays stemming from the negativity surrounding the Direct. Of course, I’m talking about Pyra and Mythra.
There are two opposing sides in terms of people who reacted to Pyra getting the call. Those who were ecstatic that a cherished character from Xenoblade Chronicles 2 was finally chosen…
and those who were distraught or dumbfounded that yet ANOTHER unknown anime swordswoman was handpicked to please weebs and horny people alike.
(Disclaimer: I love all the streamers/content creators that were posted above and you should strongly consider checking them out. I only did this because their views were vastly different and funny.)
No middle ground whatsoever. But I serve to fill that gap. You’re welcome.
Now, I’m not the biggest fan of RPGs or JRPGs. I never grew up playing them, well besides the default choice of Pokemon. It’s only up until recently that I decided to give games such as Fire Emblem Three Houses a fair shot. Ended up loving it (Dimitri is my fucking boy). On the flip side, I never played any of the Xenoblade games, especially 2. I have “technically” experienced the game by watching my best friend get frustrated over the hardest difficulty but it’s fair to say I have no major emotional attachment to the game or its characters compared to the more dedicated fans. Yet, I don’t have an unbridled hatred of the character nor the genre she comes from. Frankly, I wasn’t surprised either. Sakurai himself stated that he wanted a Xenoblade 2 rep from the very beginning. I also don’t have the issue of not knowing who the hell she is. I’ve been on the “hate anime swordfighter” side, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely hated Corrin’s reveal in Smash Wii U, and still hate him/her now. But now, things are a bit different. And that’s mainly a result of most of the DLC characters.
In my humble opinion, there are only three actually fun DLC characters. Joker, Terry, and Sephiroth. Hero is a very close call but most players simply runaway and spam his safest spells (the best way to play him is like a degenerate gambler). So if you want you can say four, I’ll allow it. The other five, Piranha Plant, Banjo, Bytleth, Min-Min, and Steve, are inexcusably dull as dirt. If you main any of these characters my sincere condolences. But Byleth and Min-Min are THE worst offenders.
Byleth got a lot of similar hate to Pyra/Mythra due to the overabundance of Fire Emblem characters but let me level something with you. Fire Emblem Three Houses is considered one of the best FE games, and one that is easily accessible to newcomers. I should know! So Byleth’s induction is warranted. It just means people like Corrin or Chrom should NEVER have sniffed the final roster.
It also doesn’t help matters that Byleth was revealed as the last DLC character for pack one, a fighters pack filled with 3rd party reps (much like Corrin’s maligned reveal). But, and it's a big but, this does not excuse how lifeless Byleth is as a fighter in Smash. The moment Sakurai said that he/she is a “distance demon” with slow overall speed I groaned. The thing that kills me now is that Bytleth is fast in Three Houses, doesn’t use any of the other Hero Relics, and is good at brawling! Like, come on man! They should have just focused on using the Sword of Creator as the basis for his/her moveset.
Buckle up. I’m about to dissertate about how FUCKING BORING MIN MIN IS. Min-Min came at a time when people were already throwing Byleth to the wayside. Another character marketed as a “distance demon”, and it was no shocker this time due to the innate nature of the character. Sakurai really gave us the quarantine special with Min-Min. A character that relies on spaming forward smash from a distance, doesn’t allow the opponent to play the game, and is WIFI safe! Yipee! In recent days, with the global panorama restrictions slowly lifting in other nations (besides the U.S because we’re absolute idiots), Japan has gotten the “pleasure” of playing Min Min in an offline tournament setting. Congrats! They hate it.
Min-Min is far from the best character in the game yet she’s getting as much heat from Japanese Smash fans as Brawl Meta Knight and Smash 4 Bayonetta. Pretty self explanatory when it comes to how fun she is.
So we’ve established that I didn’t care too much about Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and that most of the DLC characters are insipid as fuck (fun word right?). What does all of this dribble have to do with our newly minted anime sword girls? The reality that we get another actually fun DLC character! Much like how the stretch of Byleth to Min-Min was a losing streak, this recent stretch of Sephiroth to Pyra can be the start of a great winning streak to close out fighter pass 2. Lemme explain.
Pyra and Mythra are set to become the second stance switching character in Smash Ultimate. Yes I’m counting Pokemon Trainer. But this is a bit different. Remember the last time Sakurai tried an outright dual stance character?
The result wasn’t as intended, to say the least. The duo would technically be more viable together in Brawl but it’s mostly because both Shiek and especially Zelda (again) were total dog shit individually. Then they were split up in Smash 4, officially ending that experiment. This is a chance to right that wrong. Based on what we saw, Pyra is focused on raw power without compromising movement speed too much while Mythra is a speedy, juggling machine while still having a punch. Both are rushdown characters. Switches are almost instantaneous, allowing for creative mix-ups with normals and specials. And when it comes to speed, they may be as fast or even faster than Joker. Sounds interesting right? Ignore the fact they’re “anime swordfighters”, that their outfits were censored (as crazy as that sounds), and that you don’t know what Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is. Maybe that pushes you to try the games? Oh put away that disgusted face. Anime games? Noooooooo! I know I swallowed my dignity with Three Houses. Just accept it as a guilty pleasure and life will be better. Anyway. So with the potential of a fun, stance-switching rushdown character coming to Smash, I’m sure everyone is approaching this with a mature mindset, even if they don’t know the character or generally agree with the choice, right?
Behold. Two of the worst tweets of 2021. Shit exploded when Dunkey uploaded his Direct reaction and knowing he hates JRPGs with a passion, absolutely shat on it. Are some of the things he said kinda cringe and not funny? Sure! No doubt! Dunkey isn’t my favorite Youtuber. But the responses he got after uploading? Comedy gold. The best part? It’s both sides! The JRPG weebs vs the cool kids who hate anime. Like people are holding fucking VideogameDunkey up as a political figure who’s words mean everything. I’m just gonna close this out with responses to those two tweets because it’s hilarious. Looking forward to Pyra and Mythra, and most of all, the chaos that ensues on both sides 🤝