Akimbo in Modern Warfare 2: A Woo-Tastic Experience We’ll Never Get Back
Picture the scene. You’re in a rundown favela in Brazil. You’re gunned down, all alone, and you know the opposition is dramatically more skilled than you are. You know your potential killers are foreseeing a conventional approach, ones they’ve seen day in, day out. Perhaps a silenced ACR or UMP, or even a SPAS-12 for close quarters. They are prepared to wait it out, waiting for you to stick your head out, and pop it like a weasel. But you plan to reverse your fortunes. Unveiling like a reverse uno card, you whip out your akimbo MP5K’S, garnished with blue tiger stripes. You pounce, taking everybody down with a hailstorm of lead. You feel like a Hollywood superstar. The incarnation of Jason Bourne. You’re then quickscoped by a 14-year-old, miles across the map, who then proclaims in an obscene language that he got a clip for YouTube. Life restarts anew with fresh ammo. With the dawn of a new Call of Duty upon us, it’s fair to take a step back and reminisce on the things we can’t get back. For me, it’s akimbo. And no, not simply duel wield pistols in other Call of Duties. True akimbo that can be used with a multitude of guns. When it was actually good and viable (if also slightly broken but that shits pretty evergreen in MW2). Before we get into the nitty-gritty of why akimbo was special in MW2, we need to know what akimbo means and what popularised it. Class is in session kids. Akimbo stems from the term “arms akimbo”, which refers to the position of having your hands on your hips, arms bent at the elbows, and standing tall. I mean, we’ve heard of the legend that is the Freakazoid supervillain Arms Akimbo, right?
This guy to be precise. What a wingspan. I’m sure the Detroit Pistons sniffed around this guy while he wasn’t being rag-dolled by our man Freakazoid.
So guns akimbo would mean having both arms out with a gun in each hand. Alright, enough of the Freakazoid talk. Now, what made duel-wielding guns so popular, especially in modern media?
We all know pirates back in the Golden Age of Piracy of the late 1600s to early 1700s (the early 2000’s Limewire era was the silver age) were strapped up with multiple flintlock pistols adorned to their coats. They would fire them in a guns akimbo pose. What’s the big deal? Well, this was done out of sheer necessity. Reloading a flintlock pistol required so much time it was more ideal to fire one in each hand then yeet them away in favor of one or two pistols that were already good to go.
If we had one place to point that started the love for akimbo guns in western culture, it was the western films of the ’60s and ’70s. With the abolishment of the Motion Picture Production Code in 1968, film writers could express themselves more clearly. No more vanilla ice cream protagonists with perfect morals. Western anti-heroes such as Clint Eastwood’s Outlaw Josey Wales dominated the screens, who frequently touted duel Colt Single Action Armies, which was fairly commonplace in the west for pretty much the same reason pirates did with their flintlocks. Not every desperado had a speed reloader (if those were a thing back then) on them so it was easier to have multiple holsters. This even translated into early to late 80’s arcade games, with Nintendo’s Sherrif being one of the first notable ones in the late 70’s.
Now westerns introduced us to the concept of duel-wielding, but what made it truly stick? After all, westerns kinda died after Star Wars (and with it came the influx of arcade space shooters). Well, akimbo’s place in the modern consciousness is all thanks to the genius of one man. The orchestrator of Gun-Fu and the creator of the Heroic Bloodshed genre. John Woo.
Now everyone has seen kung-fu movies, both excellent and shitty alike. High octane action is at the forefront. Whether that looks like stunningly choreographed art in motion or something akin to button mashing in Street Fighter 2 is up to your own discretion. There was one modern element was generally wasn’t used. Some pieces. Guns! But before the mid-1980’s, there were no guns involved, at least for the titular protagonist. Yeah, some hired goons would carry pistols but they would have the aim and awareness of a dyslexic Stormtrooper, leaving them as easy fodder for our nunchuck-wielding hero. But what if our hero wasn’t afraid to pull out the pieces in retaliation? Enter the genre of Gun-Fu.
Still the heavily acrobatic and intense action we all know and love in Kung-Fu films but now coupled with guns, tons of collateral damage, and vast amounts of blood. Woo’s first notable gun-fu film was A Better Tomorrow in 1986 but 1992’s Hard Boiled set the world ablaze. Inspector Tequila Yuen’s wizardly shooting abilities would captivate us all. Chow Yun-Fat, Tequila’s actor, is a true legend of the game. Woo would then make his transition up Hollywood. And you know what comes next. If you don’t, you’re in for a treat.
The best thing about those two clips? They’re right at the beginning so you know shits gonna get wild at the end, especially for Face/Off. If there’s one thing to take from this spiel of an article, it’s to watch this film. You’ll thank me later.
So let’s fast forward a bit to the year 2009. Lots of things are happening and changing. President Obama wins a Nobel Peace Prize in his first year of office. Sub-tweet becomes an official word alongside copernicium. The Detroit Lions win a football game. It’s been quite a few years since the last notable John Woo film but his influence had spread to numerous areas. His time-bending gun-fu action was taken to the extreme with The Matrix and Max Payne renovated and arguably introduced the heroic bloodshed genre in video games. On the flip side, Call of Duty has taken the world by storm with its cinematic yet realistic depictions of combat, both on the WW2 front thanks to Call of Duty 2 and World at War and now in the modern setting thanks to a little game called Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
Released in 2007, MW was the CoD first game to break away from the beaches of Normandy, which in turn would be a massive success. It was the highest-selling game of 2007 and shaped the modern FPS genre as we know it. The game took itself and its subject matter pretty seriously. From the motivational/political quotes when you die to the gritty and grimy story about nuclear war and terrorism (I wonder what influenced that). That also meant the weapon selection would reflect the overall mood. Besides the STG44 making a surprise guest appearance in multiplayer, your usual modern weapons were here. M4’s, MP5’s, Dragunov's. Of course, the M1911, the Adam Wainwright of pistols, refused to retire so it’s here too. You couldn’t dual wield them or any weapons for that matter. Attachments were scarce in the first place. Either a sight or a noob tube. Pick one. But like I said before, things were changing in 2009. Call of Duty was chief among them. Like John Woo after Hard Boiled, it was time to go Hollywood.
There was no bigger game being released in 2009 than MW2. The hype surrounding it was unprecedented. Teasers being debuted during NBA playoff games was unheard of at this time, and this one was shown during the Eastern Conference Finals (that Magic team really deserved something). It was even marked as a landmark event on the 2009 Wikipedia page (the release of GTA 4’s Ballad of Gay Tony DLC was too). It sold the highest among games released that year, sitting at 11,860,000 copies. It just so happened both Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort were in their primes despite being released a few years prior. Wii Sports sold 20,180,000 copies in 2009!
So while MW2 couldn’t outperform Wii Sports’ Wilt Chamberlain like campaign, it left its mark in gaming culture tenfold. Remember when every single journalistic outlet was all the rage about No Russian? It sparked debate on humanism and morality in video games. It was censored in numerous countries. Like how it was totally removed from the Russian version of the game (reasonable) or if you actually try to kill a civilian in the German or Japanese versions it restarts the mission like if you shot a friendly soldier. So you’re going through with the mission, witnessing all the carnage instigated by Makarov. You’re walking through the now desolate, bloody mall, and you see a couple of things next to a security guard. Curious, you ditch your conveniently American M4A1 for them.
Akimbo TMPs with red dot sights. You’re now in a very dumb John Woo film. This, was MW2 at its core. Plain, stupid, fun. With a little bit of controversy sprinkled in. And we’ll get into that.
So akimbo. What did it do in MW2? It’s an eternal question much like what does Pot of Greed do? Well, it gives you two guns, doubling your firepower! But I’m sure you already knew that. Doing this seals your fate as a close-quarters flanking class. You’re not able to aim down sights. Your hip-fire accuracy is hampered by about half. And your effective range is cut due to those drawbacks. But many guns turn into body melters at close range, even without stopping power.
Like these bad boys. The Rangers, 44 Magnum, and Dealges are one tap with both pulls of the trigger without stopping power. So you got the leverage to go with a perk like lightweight. The pro version comes in clutch hard due to its reduced sprint out time. But what if you’re committed to using stopping power? Well, you got another advantage.
These two are now one tap with stopping power on, and you still get the better fire rate, accuracy, and more importantly, ammo count compared to the more power-oriented sidearms. There’s something fun yet nostalgic about going double pistols like this. I mean, Inspector Tequila Yuen’s go-to sidearms were the Taurus PT92’s, essentially a Brazilian version of the Beretta M9. They’re more of an action star type of pistol. Also, special shoutout to the akimbo USPS and their janky ass knife animation that’s faster than the tactical knife.
Now that we’ve talked about the pistols and shotguns… Wait. We’re missing one? THAT one? But I was gonna save it for… Alright fine. Party pooper.
For those who weren’t around, the akimbo model 1887’s were something out of a horror film. The standard 1887 easily had the largest range out of any shotgun, meant to compliment the fact it had the slowest pump-action (or lever action for that matter) of all the shotguns. But there was a problem. With akimbo, with a simultaneous pull of the trigger, the power of the shotgun was doubled. But you’re probably thinking, isn’t that the point you dingus? Well, peep this one.
As you can also see, the 1887’s were nerfed into the ground. And everyone was shouting R.I.P BOZO from the rooftops. There was a point where the pre-patch 1887’s were still alive. After the initial nerf, the developers forgot to apply it to the akimbo 1887’s with FMJ via bling. It didn’t last long though, so the pack was still up, perhaps even more so. So in the year 2021, the akimbo 1887’s are mid. They’re outclassed as a solo shotgun by the SPAS and they’re outclassed as an akimbo shotgun by the Rangers due to their fire rate and immense power at close range. At least they still got the cool factor and can make you think you’re in Terminator 2.
Now if only there wasn’t another notoriously overpowered shotgun like the 1887's…
So now that we’re done talking about one overpowered set of akimbo weapons, let’s talk about another set. And these never got a nerf. But thankfully so cause they’re fun as hell.
Yep. It’s the Glock. And it remains infamous for its negligible hip fire accuracy decrease (or even slight hip fire increase) compared to the other weapons. So it’s pretty much buffed compared to the regular version. Everyone uses it as their secondary with no remorse. You’re running a standard assault rifle class? Akimbo G18s. Hyper aggressive SMG class? Akimbo G18s. Stealth class? Akimbo G18s with silencers. Quickscoper that has nothing for close range? Riot shield user? You already know. It’s so interchangeable and easy to use there’s pretty much no excuse. But let’s keep it on the down low. The other machine pistols are still great.
The M93 Raffica were especially great in close range, and their draw time was quick. The bursts actually kept you on target and the hip fire spread was good. The PP2000s were a bit more niche but still did a solid job in close range due to their consistent fire rate and power. Now let’s go back to some friends we saw before.
The TMPs! So these cuties are by far the worst akimbo weapons in the game. How so? Well, most machine pistols generally lack ammo. The PP2000 only has 20, for example. The TMP got the even shorter end of the stick with only 15 rounds per clip. And the gun doesn’t fly off the charts when it comes to fire rate or killing power. They’re meant for accurate fire. So you’ll be willingly running around with the worst akimbo weapons in the game that contradict their own style, with the threat of running out of ammo without taking anybody down. And I love them. Getting someone at medium range with the last shot is an ADDICTING feeling. They work in close range! Are they as good as the rest of the machine pistols? Nope! But they work! Just a shame you can’t put the red dots on in multiplayer.
Now, this is where our journey would generally end if this was literally any other CoD. Every CoD past Black Ops 1 only featured akimbo/duel wield for pistols. Black Ops 1 only featured akimbo for the smaller, 20 round SMGs. Don’t discredit the akimbo Scorpions though.
So what made MW2 so special when it came to akimbo, especially for the SMGs? Well, it chucked all sense of realism out the window. It let you run around with doubles of everything! Every. Single. SMG. Time to get nuts.
There are only 5 SMGs in the game but each is wildly different than the other in one way or another. Let’s do a little tier listing, shall we?
Let’s start with the bottom. The Mini-Uzi seems like the coolest option on this list. Your character already holds it with one hand by itself, it would make sense akimbo was tailor-made for it, right? It’s an action movie star! Well, the Uzi has some pretty fatal flaws. Firstly, it’s weak, killing in 4 shots in close range and 5 stretching out to medium and long ranges. If you’re firing these at long range it’s like you’re hurling spitballs at people. It does sport a great fire rate of 950 RPM, just ever so slightly edging the P90. That’s all well and good, it means it can be forgiving in close range and can be good when in someone’s face, especially with two. It's even got the fastest switch time out of all the SMGs. But we haven’t even discussed the Uzi’s fatal flaw. It’s reloading time. Most if not all guns can shave a good amount of time off their reload via reload canceling (the act of reloading then canceling the rest of the animation by momentarily sprinting, quickly switching weapons, or swinging your knife). The Mini-Uzi is one such exception. It technically does have a reload cancel but only shaving off .2 seconds. It doesn’t help that the reload time itself is fairly lengthy at 2.4, or 3.5 seconds if it’s empty. You’ll be halted to a snail’s pace when you have to tuck your ass into a corner just to reload. But I’m sure you’re thinking, “DUH the reload time stinks, I’ll just use sleight of hand YOU DINGUS” and that’s all well and good. We’ll get to why that’s wrong later. But just know the Uzi is at the bottom, but still incredibly cool. You can tap into your inner Chuck Norris at least.
Now I’m sure you’re already composing a well-thought-out response to send to my DMs (it’s desolate as is) about this take but bear with me here. Yes the UMP is undeniably the best SMG, if not the best, GUN in the game. An uber consistent 3 hit kill at all ranges (with a two-hit kill with a headshot), besting most assault rifles. Bullet penetration that’s on par with the LMGS. Stopping power actually nerfs it (not really but it does literally nothing). It’s got a reload cancel LEAGUES above the Uzi. And incredibly stable recoil. Not to mention the usual SMG mobility. So when used by itself, especially with a silencer, you got the recipe for a stew that has a 2.5 KD. But things shape out differently when you add two to the equation. It’s arguably the most accurate akimbo SMG due to its fire rate but likewise, it can be less forgiving in close quarters compared to even the UZI. While its power is good, with the potential for a two-tap kill, another SMG has that capability and has the fire rate advantage. The UMP has one thing that trumps the other akimbo SMGs by a mile, however. It's reloading animation. Nonchalantly dropping the two mags before going off-screen to reload. Incredibly cool. And usually, you don’t see the mags being changed when in akimbo so it is refreshing to see.
So now we’re firmly in mid-tier. That’s where the Vectors preside. The Vectors occupy a weird spot in this list knowing their capabilities with a certain attachment. The Vector by itself sports the best fire rate among the SMGs, with a blazing 1111 RPM. Of course, the G18 got it beat. What if, theoretically, you use a funny little attachment called “rapid-fire?” Well, you’ll have the fastest firing gun in the game. 1395 RPM. Shits nuts. But wait, can’t you use rapid-fire AND akimbo? Yes dear reader you can! Let’s see what happens when you do.
Poof! All of your ammo is gone in a flash. 2790 RPM! Of course, if you turn stopping power on, you’re going from a usual 4 hit kill to a 3 hit one. As you can see, there’s a big skill gap in using the rapid-fire akimbo vectors. You can’t use marathon so you won’t have the sprinting advantage. The ammo will always be a concern without scavenger. But you’ll have arguably the best close-quarters weapons in the game. Without rapid-fire, the akimbo Vectors are good but lack the damage. You see the conundrum here? Very volatile placement for a gun that is very consistent by itself. It helps that it has the fastest reload cancel out of all SMGs, a brisk 1.4 seconds, keeping it more handy than the Uzi by default.
I’m sure plenty of you guys have seen these bad boys back in the day. Let’s get the obvious out of the way. FIFTY. ROUND. MAGS. We all know what that means. You can spray and pray the living shit out of these. But WAIT. Extended mags?
Seventy-five rounds purely designated to spraying the walls like a fraternity bathroom. Look, it's not required to run extended mags but it's a fun gimmick, you have to admit. Besides that, the P90 ranks highly as an akimbo SMG. It's got nearly the same fire rate as the Uzi (937 vs 950, very negligible), a very solid reload cancel, and of course that ammo. It does have very similar damage to the Uzi but at least you have the ammo for spraying more. Can you see the argument I’m trying to convey? Bling with rapid-fire is viable if you’re willing to forego marathon.
Now for the kings. The MP5K. I alluded that there was a gun that had similar damage to the UMP but outpaced it when it came to fire rate. This is the one. Now the MP5K by itself has its problems. It has the highest vertical recoil in the game and can burn through ammo (only has 30 rounds on tap). Counterpoint though, the MP5K shares its easy 3 hit kill range (at least in close quarters) with the UMP and has a fire rate of 895 RPM. An astute observer would notice this does put the MP5K third when it comes to fire rate but it’s also barely below the P90. Add stopping power, and you have the faster killing SMG in close quarters. You can see what happens when you add another one to the fold. Adding on rapid-fire? You madman! Even without stopping power, you’ll get the easiest of three tap kills, and headshots are surprisingly common so two taps can arise when you least expect them. A birthday present! There aren’t any gimmicks with the MP5Ks, unlike the others. They’re just the most solid akimbo SMGs when it comes to power and fire rate in close quarters. And it’s even got the star power knowing it’s been used in The Matrix, a movie inspired by John Woo! See how everything comes together in a neat little bow?
Now I bet you’re wondering, “gee, now I really want to run some MW2 with an akimbo class after reading this fine piece of journalism!” And I salute you for it! It makes it all the harder to tell you that you’re about 12 years late. But I have a proverb for you:
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now” — Random Chinese dude nobody remembers
Sure you’ll have to make sure you have an Xbox (based backwards compatibility) or a PC via steam to play it and then bear the 10 minute wait times to find a lobby but there isn’t a better time like the present! The noob tubers and quickscopers will hate you all the more for ruining their lobbies. You’ll also come to DESPISE Famas users. So what is the best setup? That’s the beauty of it, there isn’t! The world is your oyster! Do you want to go full speed and use marathon and lightweight, constantly flanking, zipping and zagging past dudes like you’re LeSean McCoy in his prime? Do you want to focus on time to kill and shred people like paper, equipping stopping power and or bling with rapid-fire? Maybe you even want to take a stealthy route, going bling with a silencer (if you’re gonna go with ninja over steady aim, your only viable choice is the G18’s). Generally I wouldn’t recommend slight of hand due to marathon and bling being more valuable (and the pro version doing nothing cause you ain’t aiming shit, literally) but you do you. If you’re confident you’ll nail your killstreaks or think for some reason you can get a nuke, hardline is a viable choice too. This topic does present a conundrum we must discuss.
Now, I bet you didn’t think we would shift to philosophy talk but here we are. In MW2, everyone sees the main goal as getting as high a killstreak as possible, with the nuke serving as the holy grail. If you’re aiming to do that with akimbo SMGs, you’re barking up the wrong tree pal. You’re not Fortunate or Korean Savage making nuke videos. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that.
Okay good. Glad you got that out of your system. When you use akimbo, you go purely for style. You have to shift your logic a bit. You’re now in a new John Woo film with every MW2 lobby. If you end up going on a nice 10 kill streak with a pave low, nice! If you go 3–12 but you got a nice long-distance shot with the last round, even better! You gotta recognize everyone will have a distance advantage over you. Noob tubers, quickscopers, regular joes with assault rifles, and the washed up esports players with silenced UMPs alike. You are handicapping yourself in a way but you’re also buffing yourself. Your aesthetic of play has to reflect a sense of freedom. Are you really bringing out the stylistic capabilities of akimbo P90’s by hiding out in a corner? I thought so. Be bold. Take risks. Play as if you have a giant ass theatre of people watching your every move. Don’t worry. They’re getting pissed at that dude who’s only using RPGs with danger close too. It only makes that final killcam taste like pumpkin pie. This is the only game (or at least CoD) that gives you that kind of freedom. Dual-wielding primary weapons would, of course, return in Black Ops 1 but after that point it was limited. You couldn’t do it in MW3, which is pretty much MW 2.5 and it was again relegated to only pistols in Black Ops 2. In future titles, some select SMGs would be able to but they would carry some obvious downsides. This situation would be like if you could dual-wield every SMG in MW 2019. It was that crazy to think about. No other CoD game gave you that kind of freedom to be this dumb. It’s sad to think about. But wait, what’s that? A glimpse of the future, perhaps even the present?
Those look fucking stupid. There may be hope yet for us all. Thanks for reading.
(Editors note: sorry if it’s been a minute since my last article, school was mad busy lately. But winter break is here. More content soon!)
If you made it this far, again thank you 🤝 I got something special to show you to send this article off. A MW2 akimbo montage in the year 2021, with NFL Primetime music. Buckle up.
