Southwestern Alumni ‘19 | Former Collegiate Football Player | ΠΚΑ | Sports Writer | Almost Beat Hungrybox In Smash Bros
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It’s June of 2003. While Justin Timberlake’s Rock Your Body blares in the background on the radio, you’re watching reruns of Sportscenter while slamming down a Stuffed Crust Gold ‘za from Pizza Hut. You see San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds snag his 500th stolen base against Eric Gagne and the Los Angeles Dodgers in extra innings, making him the sole member of the 500 home runs and 500 stolen bases club. You wonder, “wow, I can’t wait to collect his trading card and use him in EA’s next baseball video game MVP Baseball 2004.” Well, Barry had other plans. He declined the MLBPA’s common license agreement and opted to license himself, thus keeping all the revenue that came his way. Bonds had the star power to pull off this move, as this is fairly uncommon for average pro athletes or even all-stars. All in all, this meant that he wouldn’t be in licensed MLB trading card packs and more importantly, wouldn’t appear in MVP Baseball 04. What was EA going to do, knowing one of the game’s premier sluggers wasn’t going to be in the game? Create his exact opposite. …

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Music in fighting games can make or break a game. You can’t go toe to toe with your best friend with drinks on the line or likewise the final of a competitive local tourney with a weak ass song playing in the background. It saps both you and your opponent’s energy. Certain stages and each character will have their own atmosphere and vibe. That’s why we have such a wide variety of genres in fighting games. Perhaps you need a heavily orchestrated song for when you’re fighting in an underground cavern.

This music also does a great job of staying faithful to the source material, as you can hear bits and pieces of this song while Goku fights Beerus in Battle of Gods, especially here. …
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There have a wide array of changes at Chelsea F.C over the years. Eden Hazard is gone. Fellow Belgian compatriot Thibaut Courtois has been gone for a couple years now. There have been plenty of new signings ever since Chelsea’s wallet was reopened following their transfer ban in 2019. That transfer banned season gave rise to numerous youngsters that rapidly advanced through the Chelsea youth system, giving fans plenty of reason for hope in the future and now. But it begs the question. With all of these fresh faces, who is Chelsea’s longest serving veteran? Lets find out shall we? …

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I’m sure you’ve seen those kinds of people at the gym. The ones that hog up every single machine or squat rack, putting almost max weight on everything, but barely moving them during the workout while grunting and screaming like a madman thinking they’re entering a new zenith of ‘Beast Mode’. Then when they’re finished, they chug an entire water gallon worth of protein shake and walk around like they have wooden planks for legs. It makes you wonder how anyone can possibly move around with such bulky muscles. Well, we have that try-hard bodybuilder given form in Dragon Ball Z. …

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Dark Comedy: a play, movie, etc., having elements of comedy and tragedy, often involving gloomy or morbid satire.

Whenever a team suffers relegation from the Premier League, you’ll usually see a few insults and sarcastic goodbyes being tossed around but there will be some fans who wish goodwill for the club (especially if their favorite club bought a player from said relegated team). “You’ll be back up.” “We wanted (insert relegation survivor here) to go down, not you.” “Proper club, don’t deserve to be in the Championship.” But there’s always that one club that’s easy to laugh at, no matter how dire their situation is or how depressed their fans are. And for the last few years, its been Sunderland A.F.C. But to understand their comedic tragedy, we must start from the very beginning. So strap yourself in and grab yourself a beer. We’re in for the long haul. Feel free to take breaks anytime. …

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Everything was changing in the 1980s. The Berlin Wall was crumbling. Movies such as Valley Girl, Sixteen Candles, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off among others were shaping pop culture (with The Simpsons coming late on to tear it down). The internet and computers were becoming a household name thanks to the Macintosh, IBM, and the cult classic Amiga. The golden age of arcade games and Atari made way for the savior of the 1983 Game Crash, the NES, changing video gaming forever. Hip-hop entered a golden age, entering the mainstream for arguably the first time thanks to Run D.M.C, the Beastie Boys, and N.W.A. And yes, football as we knew it was changing.
The NFL was falling in love with the high octane passing offense. Vertical attacks through the air were becoming the norm. One element of football’s past would be phased out during this time. The rushing Fullback. Names such as Larry Csonka, Jim Brown, Jim Taylor, Marion Motley, and Bronko Nagurski were legends of the game leading all the way back since the ’40s. They were hulking Fullbacks that ran with savageness and no regard for human life. In the ‘80s and then on, the Fullback would become something different. …

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Everyone knows that person. The one person that complains about a movie they barely paid attention to, and when you ask them why they hated it so much, they retort, “oh, it was all style and no substance.” Then they’ll walk away thinking they’re best movie critic around but in reality, they’re Jay Sherman from The Critic.

Great show by the way.

Like any critique, it’s valid when it actually applies to the thing we’re talking about and not valid if it doesn’t. Yet, we hear this criticism constantly for all kinds of movies, TV shows, video games (a dude spent FIVE HOURS trying to spin zone how Persona 5 had more style over substance), even cars or sports teams. But what does it really mean? Usually, in the minds of these people, it simply means a movie or something else looks really pretty and snazzy but at the cost of something crucial. For a movie or TV show, it’s the plot or character development. For a car, back seats or trunk space. For a sports team, wins. …

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The humble grilled cheese. Usually one of the first things you enjoyed eating as a kid and one of the first things you learned to cook as you got older. I mean all it takes to cook one is bread, cheese, and butter. How hard can it be? With this simple concept of a sandwich, you can do pretty much whatever you want with this. All it takes is good execution and the limits of your own imagination.

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We all know the Pokemon formula all too well. You’re a random 12-year-old kid setting off a journey to become the greatest trainer ever with the best wishes of your single mother (I know you see your dad in Generation 3 but he’s never home). All the while beating Gym Leaders, the Pokemon League, and any random terrorist organization that shows up for world domination, who all probably never lost a battle before you showed up. It’s the bread and butter that’s kept Pokemon afloat, even today in Sword and Shield. There’s been little to no deviation in the formula over the years, maybe with a few extra themes added in here and there, especially in Black and White. But in 2004 (or late 2003 in Japan), we got a glimpse into the grittier side of Pokémon, a side we would never see again. …

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Continuing off the first piece (check that out for the infield), this is the outfield in the starting lineup of one-year wonders. Let's not waste any time, on to the honorable mentions.

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